Circling the Wagons
March 20, 2017
As the great migration west gathered pace in the second half of the 19th century, families joined wagon trains, and, with all their worldly possessions on board, they set out in search of a better future. Always vulnerable to attack, the wagon trains would “circle up” at night to form an outer ring of crude protection. This circling of the wagons not only afforded protection, but created an area for cooking, eating, resting and socializing. This development of a sense of community was critical for survival as the migrants formed bonds which helped make sure they looked out for each other. Like many places in the world, these early migrant families in America were often multi-generational groups who lived very closely together. A family unit would often consist of three generations whose lives, and welfare, were fully intertwined.
Over time the development of settlements facilitated progress and opportunity, and gradually the numbers of extended family units began to fall. Modern families are often scattered to the wind, with family members all over the country, and even the world. The encouragement of children to get educated, and develop their own successful lives, has often resulted in them moving far away from home if that was needed to pursue opportunity. As a result, many families feel themselves lucky if they see one another once a year. Recent conversations with some of my clients show some discomfort with the apparent inevitability of a “family diaspora”.
Priorities change throughout our lives. Clearly the goals of a 30 year old have evolved by the time that person reaches 60. We have a normal tendency in our youth to be caught up in our education and careers. By comparison the older generations often wish that their family was closer to one another. Part of the reasons for this change is likely because age brings an increasing recognition of the value of time, and a desire to spend more of that precious time socializing with family. In addition, a growing sense of mortality leads to a greater awareness of the benefits of family taking care of one another.
I have said many times that the real estate developer that comes up with the model that meets Baby Boomers’ needs for retirement living will make a lot of money. Perhaps a “family centric” model is worth considering. Instead of encouraging our family members to go to the far corners of the earth, what would happen if one option provided a more family concentrated solution, with each family member making a long term strategic commitment to stay closer together. I know it is a radical idea, and will not make sense for many. With each passing day, however, I get the feeling that we are on a path which will lead to many of us taking on even more responsibility to look after ourselves. What better way to do this than through a strong and loving family living close together.
Carl Gambrell
